Friday, February 18, 2011

Repost: Prayer for Single Moms

This is a prayer for single moms I found on the net. Blame it on my C-Section I forgot which website it was. All I know though that after I downloaded and printed this prayer, I kept it on my bedside and I read this after tucking Leia to bed. I hope solo parents out there can draw the necessary strength and courage to become the best parent our little ones deserve. Feel free to copy and print. :)

VeeDay and Inner Peace

"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace..."
I hope you all had a "romantic" and unforgettable Valentine's Day celebration my dear readers, whether you're single, double or a member of the "it's complicated" tribe. My VeeDay for the past couple of years had been uneventful - spent at home, in the arms of the one I love with all my heart - my daughter. Mundane if you say but peaceful.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Foul Taste on Ina-Tay's Mouth

Like most Pinoys, I have had enough of the committee hearings on the controversies and exposes that seem to go nowhere. Pardon the pessimism; sure I admire the whistle blowers (go go Heidi!), gets surprised with the exorbitant amount of money they managed to squander and finds the grand standing of most politicians irritating. For me, an expose is good until a bigger and more scandalous one surfaces. It feels like it has a certain shelf life and then poof – nothing happens. Our laws are still too soft on criminals especially those in high places, the witnesses still lack protection from the government and everything is back to square one despite the countless hearings “in aid of legislation”. ... Well, not until Tuesday morning when beleaguered Gen. Angelo Reyes committed suicide. It was an unexpected twist to the saga and gave rise to more questions than answers.

Have Baby, Will Not Date - YET!

And I don’t mean “plan” to love you for ever and ever; to live happily ever after. Be careful of men who target specific demographics, they have a confidence rating that can rival that of former Pres. Arroyo.
People may argue that the best way to get over someone is to be under another.  If a relationship doesn’t work, you can prowl until you hit the proverbial “pot of gold”. But to all single moms reading this, I want to ask you point blank – how many toads are you willing to kiss before finding your prince? I was always chided that I was too hard to please, that I was chasing fantasies about Mr. Right. Now that I have a toddler, the list of qualities I need to check before dating someone became longer. I have to be careful how I project myself, the company I keep and most importantly – the choices I make because this will have major major ramifications with my child.  

A few nights ago, an old friend was in town and asked if we can have dinner and catch up. I thanked him but declined the invite. The idea of a date means leaving Leia with the yaya. Sure I trust Kim, but it’s not the issue. I felt I’m not yet ready to go out socially. I’m still learning the ropes of being a solo parent, the last thing I need right now are distractions. I want to focus my energy raising my daughter and making her feel loved and secured. I need to make sure I’m there the moment she calls “Mama”. She is a year and a half old; she can’t sleep soundly without me singing to her. I’m 31 years old and she is on the top of my list. The “old friend” tried to talk me into reconsidering the so-called “rejection”, I told him “trust me, you’ll thank me for this”. And I turned off my phone.

Who would want to endure a date with a wreck? Not me and I don’t want to subject another individual to this ordeal. I will not be a hypocrite and say that I wasn’t crushed by the events that happened in my life almost two years ago. This is the same reason why I don’t want to rush things. I want to put myself together and get myself back on track before opening myself to mingle socially. Doing so I believe is the most logical thing to do. I want to give time for myself to heal completely. I want to strengthen the bond between me and my child before allowing a man to be in the picture, even if it’s just a date.

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in happy endings. I’m willing to give it another shot. But I know that it’s like walking on thin ice.

Ana Santos, a journalist, blogger and a single mom herself puts it perfectly:

"They (men) have absolutely no clue that on most days, you can’t even remember if put on your underwear, much less be enticed by the idea of taking it off for someone..."

To everyone else that has found love and has a date on this day - HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Some well meaning friends told me one time over coffee I should try to go out on friendly dates to give myself time off from motherhood. It sounded Greek to me, it simply didn’t make sense. Few years back, I would never have this much faith in myself to decline an invitation to go out. Have I sworn off men? Definitely NO! Have I kissed dating goodbye? Perhaps, until further notice.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Repost: Happy Even After

When I read this article by Ana Santos, I immediately knew I have to repost this in my blog. I'm pretty sure a lot of solo moms out there will have a good laugh and feel empowered after reading the no-nonsense tips onhow to raise our kids alone while not losing ourselves. :)

Leia: My Answered Prayer

I became pregnant with Leia two months before I turned 29. Yes, I had her late probably because I enjoyed work and I was having the time of my life. I had a good paying job for a foreign-funded project and made lots of friends. I won’t be talking about the X here so I won’t have to use expletives.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Why, Why Inatay???

I figured that my other blog Barefoot Concessions is too "intelectual" and I have a limited range of topics to blog about. Two nights ago while waiting for my little one to fall into deep sleep, I had the urge to create another blog -  this time it will be about my being a solo parent and everything that comes with it. The challenges, practical tips, advices and perhaps about the ex (but only during RARE occassions). I want a blog that will inspire and support the breed of brave souls who chose to raise their children alone.