I Want to be a Maricar

I just finished watching on YouTube the video of Richard Poon and Maricar Reyes' wedding held last Sunday. It was touching, my eyes were welling up and I can't help but utter a silent prayer - Lord, in Your faithfulness and love, please let me be  a Maricar.

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Why I'm Nitta Sayuri

Image from the web

I’ve been asked this question so many times I’ve actually lost count. The question pertains to my alias in FB. People’s question range from who the hell is Nitta Sayuri, why Nitta Sayuri and does my real name sound so bad that I have to use someone else’s? Once and for all I will answer everything.

Your personality in a cookie

My current companion is a title from one of my favorite motivational speakers Francis J. Kong. The Early Bird Catches the Worm But the Second Mouse Gets the Cheese - Stories that Make You Think, Stories that Make You Laugh and Stories that Make You Love (whew!). In a gist, his new book is about teaching readers that life is a matter of perspective, it's not what happens to you - it's how you look at it and how you take it.

Anyway, here's a personality test based on how you eat an Oreo cookie. I just want to share it with all of you, for fun of course. There are just days when I wish knowing a person can be as easy as this (sigh)... 

Image from the web

Why I love working with expats

Lately, I have allowed myself to go to uncharted territories. The journey so far has been exhilarating, I can't confidently say though it's rewarding because I have yet to see. But these new directions caused me to be pensive and press rewind. I have gone this far because I learned from some of the best people to work with - expats. 

Now before you raise that eyebrow and ask how much I must've been paid to write this post, allow me to qualify my statement. I know some of you have horror stories about working with foreign nationals and how they caused you sleepless nights and fleeting moments of insanity. Albeit some who made me work wounded to the point of almost second-guessing my capabilities that took so long to build, my experience is generally happy and meaningful. 

We were one big happy family! (circa 2004). 

I noticed that I actually work better with foreigners than with Filipinos. I'm not being critical of my own race here, however I personally find it relatively easier to share the four corners of an office with them. And from my years of experience with them, here are some reasons why: 

Where art thou Wisely?

I looked for Wisely yesterday on my ballot - such person did not exist. While watching the election coverage on TV Wisely was nowhere to be found. I was looking for Wisely and my search was in vain.

Image from inquirer.net

Recuerdos de Zamboanga

I have landed back to Durian-burg from our vacation in Asia's Latin City - Zamboanga. Sharing with you some of the shots I took of my birthplace using my ever-handy point and shoot. Sorry that this is the best I can do for now. No time to blog yet, I have bills to pay! :)

Hasta la vista, Zamboanga!

The iconic Muslim-inspired airport design

I loved how red they looked hence I snapped

The venue for our family reunion

The lagoon

You haven't been to Zamboanga unless you took a picture of the colorful vintas

Repost: Love letter to Filipinos by Dr. David Harwell

This letter was written to all of us by an American Dr. David H. Harwell and appeared in Philippine Daily Inquirer Commentary on February 17, 2013. I read it and had goosebumps. I am re-posting it here hoping that it will warm your brown spirit as it did in mine.

-o0o-

I am writing to thank Filipinos for the way you have treated me here, and to pass on a lesson I learned from observing the differences between your culture and mine over the years.

I am an expatriate worker. I refer to myself as an OAW, an overseas American worker, as a bad joke. The work I do involves a lot of traveling and changing locations, and I do it alone, without family. I have been in 21 countries now, not including my own. It was fun at first.  Now, many years later, I am getting tired. The Philippines remains my favorite country of all, though, and I’d like to tell you why before I have to go away again.

I have lived for short periods here, traveled here, and have family and friends here. My own family of origin in the United States is like that of many Americans—not much of a family. Americans do not stay very close to their families, geographically or emotionally, and that is a major mistake. I have long been looking for a home and a family, and the Philippines is the only place I have lived where people honestly seem to understand how important their families are.

No homework, no cry

I am a child of that time where the definition of being "intelligent" was only limited to whether you can do mental Math or you can spell "floccinaucinihilipilification" without batting an eyelash. Never mind if you're good at music, sports, arts or what-have-you, back in the 80s it just didn't fit the bill. My parents jumped on to the bandwagon and set a study routine for me - on my first year in school. I still remember this pink cartolina posted on the bedroom wall where my schedules from Sunday evening to Friday afternoon were written. I was only allowed two hours of play on weekday and no TV except on weekends. I was scared of the punishment so I never tried disobeying my folks. The schedule was also imposed on my younger brother three years later but they didn't have much success with him.

Image from Photobucket

Prodigal blogger ME

I am a prodigal blogger.

Photo: www.outblush.com

I discovered blogging back in 2006-2007 when my office mate Red told what it was and invited me to make my blog then he will host it for me. Without batting an eyelash, I listened intently to his "sales talk" and to a 26-year old career girl so eager to prove her worth, I saw blogging as a means to conquer the world, to let my thoughts be heard and to put to practical use what I learned in college. I didn't know what to call my blog, I need to have a catchy title. Something that would make people want to read whatever I write, something that would make me famous. Red suggested Drama Queen - you know, girls who sweat even the most minute things, someone who has a lot of "kadramahan" in her life. That's how Confessions of an Urban Drama Queen was born.

My blog, my life

Tonight I was on a frenzy inviting my FB friends to like my blog. The blogging bug has successfully bit me again. Before clicking the "LIKE" button, I think it is only but fair that you get to know what you're getting yourself into (or not)!

Yours truly and the reason for my existence

An Ina-Tay Writes is my personal blog which I started in 2009 when I gave birth and my life as a single parent began. This blog is an off-shoot of the now dead Memoirs of an Urban Drama Queen and I decided on an image overhaul. Gone was the "I-live-for-the-moment" working girl to usher in my new role as a parent. Ina-Tay is a word play of two Filipino words - Inay (mother) and Itay (father). As a single parent, I play both roles 24/7. My auto reply when people ask about my civil status is "I am an Ina-Tay"! Ina-Tay is also referred to as "package deal" or "buy one, take one". Call it however you like it but it does not change the fact that no, I am not married but yes, I have a kid.

A bum's to-do list

In a week's time my consultancy contract with a mining company will end. In retrospect, those were 12 months full of learning, self-discovery, new friendships and an awful lot of soul searching. It allowed me to gain my self confidence back after being a full time Ina-Tay to Leia and being Mum's private duty nurse when she was having her Chemo. It gave me the perfect chance to prove to myself, more than anybody else, that I still have what it takes to get things done. I will devote one entire post in the coming days telling you more about it.

People have been asking me which firm I will be transferring to. They think I have gone bananas when I tell them I'm going to be jobless when I go back to Davao. Yes, I gave myself permission to be a bum for at least a month, to be part of the Department of Labor's unemployed statistics. It is a conscious decision hence I have not moved heaven and earth (yet) to get a job.

Photo: http://themetapicture.com

So you may ask, what do I intend to do with all these time in my hands?

I'm back - I hope...

I am shamed...

Blogging after what seemed like forever feels like meeting an ex that you just disappeared on - you don't know what to say despite the fact that your brain goes 150kph and your freshly manicured nails could hardly keep up with your thoughts. I want to explain, I want to tell you all that there were times when I would feel bad reading the events in the Davao Bloggers FB page because I should have been there, because it would have been fun, because I am Ina-Tay, because I am a blogger.

I'm going ahead of myself here, sorry. You see in September last year, I joined a private mining firm which meant I have to be in GenSan five days a week then go home to Davao on weekends. For a while it was manageable. Never mind the three-hour travel in a comfortable airconditioned bus. But few months later and I've had my feet wet, there are times when the weekend is sandwiched between a previously very busy week and an even busier next week. I don't have a choice but to spend weekends in GSC which I have come to appreciate for what it is (read: no liquor and smoking ban!). But I still talk regularly to Leia over the phone especially when my Ina-Tay heart reaches rock-bottom because I miss the heir to my stilletos and because of guilt that I work far away from her. I have gotten sick and Mum thinks this is partly caused by my emotional agony of missing my daughter.

Now back to my being a blogger - given that it's crunch time in the company, the only time I get to open my laptop is when I'm working. I don't even have time to update my FB account let alone download the gazillon photos that were taken last year. A joke has been running around the team that if photos were taken in my camera expect it to be uploaded the following month - of the following year! hehehe Good thing I don't really take myself seriously except when my professional credibility is at stake so I don't take offense. But you do get the picture right?

I have not been exercising (does going around the office compound at 100kph while in high heels count???) and my chakras are so badly misaligned that's why maybe I've been sick lately. So I embraced these changes in my life, had to make sacrifices and gave up some things in my life - including blogging. I have finally come of age. I now do my own laundry, cleaning and other comforts that home offered. Now that the subject is brought up, I have to pause and iron my clothes... in stilettos at that! :)

"Miss Mama"

"The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and tortuous." - Anna Quindlen

Ina-Tay and the love of her life one fine night...

I arrived yesterday afternoon in Davao for my weekend break - tired, hungry and disappointed. When I got home, Leia hasn't waken up from her nap so I took a quick lunch and in between mouthfuls explained to Mum why I haven't received my first paycheck. I was in my nega mode when my daughter showed up in the kitchen and gave me the smile that melted my heart and forgot the fact that my salary has been delayed for two weeks now.

On Packing

It's pst midnight and the closest thing to packing that I've done was to take out the trolley.

Yes, I'll be travelling again from the land of promise to Manny Pacquiao's birthplace. This is my 5th week in my new work which is based in GenSan but I'm just too lazy to pack tonight. Chances are I'll be cramming after posting this. :) My bad!

It'll be another week for me away from my daughter and another five days of no blogging. Well, we have to sink or swim. I reckon, I'm still blessed to have a job that makes use of the college degree. I'm in a far better position than those who have to leave the country to work.

Have a good week my dear readers, let's remember that a lot of people out there would kill just to have a job.

Of Christmas in September

Photo credit: http://www.theschoolforheroes.com/

I de-mystified Christmas at a very early age - six years old. Unlike my playmates who marvelled at Santa Claus, I ceased to believe he exists after I caught my dad redhandedly filling our hanged socks with local chocolates Christmas Eve 1986. He could no longer talk me out of it so he stopped convincing me Santa asked him to do it for him because there were still a lot of socks he had to fill. Nice try Dad! :)

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

PNoy: No apology!
Photo credit: allvoices.com

I'm not a political blogger although the reason why we chose our cable subscription plan was because of ANC and the live coverages of senate hearings where the politicos' display their mudslinging and grandstanding acumen.

PNoy's statement on Tuesday about refusing to issue a public apology a year after the Manila hostage tragedy got my fingers itching to write a post on the matter. I beg your indulgence.

Perfection and the $64,000 question

Photo credit: http://blog.ezinearticles.com/

I was 22 when my essay was first published on the Philippine Daily Inquirer's Youngblood. This was followed by a second essay in 2007. I remember that day at work when everything was not going well and I resorted to writing to keep my cool and sanity amidst the chaos. It was about waiting for my then boyfriend turned good friend to pop the question then eventually seeing the countless benefits of being single. The title? The question.

Fast forward to present. I'm still single but I have a lovely two-year old daughter who is my pride and joy and heir to my stilletos, Leia. Two weeks ago, my baby brother Ton-ton (he's 28, an army officer but I still refer to him as baby brother) got married. I was happy for him albeit the stresses that went with their wedding preparations. The ceremony was at Davao Chinese Baptist Church. In his message Pastor Arnel Tan who officiated the ceremony said something that struck me - "If you are a perfectionist, don't get married". Everyone laughed including me but I knew right there and then that these words will stay with me for a long, long time.

Mum's big fight

No, Mum is not from Ateneo chanting "one big fight -Ateneo!"This blog entry is about her courage and strength in spirit... waaaaayyyyy overdue but something tells me I should post this anyway. Perhaps one of you may find yourself in a similar situation as we had been. So here it goes...

VeeDay and Inner Peace

"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace..."

I hope you all had a "romantic" and unforgettable Valentine's Day celebration my dear readers, whether you're single, double or a member of the "it's complicated" tribe. My VeeDay for the past couple of years had been uneventful - spent at home, in the arms of the one I love with all my heart - my daughter. Mundane if you say but peaceful.

Have Baby, Will Not Date - YET!

And I don’t mean “plan” to love you for ever and ever; to live happily ever after. Be careful of men who target specific demographics, they have a confidence rating that can rival that of former Pres. Arroyo.

People may argue that the best way to get over someone is to be under another.  If a relationship doesn’t work, you can prowl until you hit the proverbial “pot of gold”. But to all single moms reading this, I want to ask you point blank – how many toads are you willing to kiss before finding your prince? I was always chided that I was too hard to please, that I was chasing fantasies about Mr. Right. Now that I have a toddler, the list of qualities I need to check before dating someone became longer. I have to be careful how I project myself, the company I keep and most importantly – the choices I make because this will have major major ramifications with my child.  

A few nights ago, an old friend was in town and asked if we can have dinner and catch up. I thanked him but declined the invite. The idea of a date means leaving Leia with the yaya. Sure I trust Kim, but it’s not the issue. I felt I’m not yet ready to go out socially. I’m still learning the ropes of being a solo parent, the last thing I need right now are distractions. I want to focus my energy raising my daughter and making her feel loved and secured. I need to make sure I’m there the moment she calls “Mama”. She is a year and a half old; she can’t sleep soundly without me singing to her. I’m 31 years old and she is on the top of my list. The “old friend” tried to talk me into reconsidering the so-called “rejection”, I told him “trust me, you’ll thank me for this”. And I turned off my phone.

Who would want to endure a date with a wreck? Not me and I don’t want to subject another individual to this ordeal. I will not be a hypocrite and say that I wasn’t crushed by the events that happened in my life almost two years ago. This is the same reason why I don’t want to rush things. I want to put myself together and get myself back on track before opening myself to mingle socially. Doing so I believe is the most logical thing to do. I want to give time for myself to heal completely. I want to strengthen the bond between me and my child before allowing a man to be in the picture, even if it’s just a date.

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in happy endings. I’m willing to give it another shot. But I know that it’s like walking on thin ice.

Ana Santos, a journalist, blogger and a single mom herself puts it perfectly:

"They (men) have absolutely no clue that on most days, you can’t even remember if put on your underwear, much less be enticed by the idea of taking it off for someone..."

To everyone else that has found love and has a date on this day - HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Some well meaning friends told me one time over coffee I should try to go out on friendly dates to give myself time off from motherhood. It sounded Greek to me, it simply didn’t make sense. Few years back, I would never have this much faith in myself to decline an invitation to go out. Have I sworn off men? Definitely NO! Have I kissed dating goodbye? Perhaps, until further notice.